When I was 18, I met a girl.
It was Friday night, and my friends and I were gathered together like we did every weekend: atop a hill that bordered a row of suburban homes. We called it “the knoll.” We drank beer, smoked weed, and listened to The Grateful Dead on a Sony cassette player.
But this Friday night was different – a new girl had arrived.
Her name was Kim, and she was the friend of my buddy Louis. She was beautiful. Kim had auburn hair, a slender frame, and deep green eyes. I was smitten immediately. She was everything that an 18-year-old male could ask for.
At one point in the evening, I walked to the top of the knoll. The stars were shining like speckled paint, splattered on a black canvas. The planets were shimmering like diamonds. I stood there, amazed.
Just then, Kim appeared next to me. She had also walked up the hill. We stood there at the same moment, looking at the same stars. She too was speechless.
We started a conversation, talking about the sky. Then we talked about our lives. The light of a million stars was raining down on us. We were bonded by a transitory moment of beauty.
I drove her home that night. When I parked in front of her house, she held the door handle and gazed at me. The moment hung in the air. I answered her silent question by pulling her to my chest, kissing her on the lips. Two bodies collided together, becoming one. I felt her disappear into my arms.
And that’s how the relationship started.
So I ask you, my dear reader: Does your romantic life coincide with nature? Do they have anything in common?
When I was a young man, I said yes! And the night I met Kim was living proof. It was literally “written in the stars.”
So what happened? What became of us?
Well, she turned out to be evil. First off, Kim was a pathological liar. One day she told me that she was pregnant – but later, I found out it was a lie. She thought it was fun, a kind of sick “joke.” She just wanted me to suffer. I was so distraught that at one point, I broke out into hives.
To make matters worse, she was an alcoholic. And her drinking was filled with erratic behavior. She would lose her temper, start screaming, and make outlandish demands. One time, I took her to a work function. She drank too much and started yelling at my coworkers. I was mortified, and I apologized to my supervisor the next day.
Eventually, the relationship ended. She went her way and I went mine. But I carried the painful memory for years, unable to trust the women in my life. I was like a dog that had been beaten, backtracking and barking at the people that approached.
I learned a hard lesson. But it was an important one…
Romantic love has no connection to the natural world. The idea is a fairy tale, a pipe dream. How could I believe such nonsense? Looking back, I realized that I was brainwashed by the ballads of Peter Cetera: *”I am a man that will fight for your honor…” * Bleh! Phooey on you, Peter!!
Nowadays, when I meet a woman, I don’t care what’s going on around me. Haley’s Comet can fly by as we meet – I don’t care. A rainbow can magically appear as we kiss – again, I don’t care. The two things are random: a coincidence. To think otherwise is delusional.
Mother Nature is concerned with herself; she doesn’t read Harlequin romance novels.