Recently, Major Styles became retired. And during this time, I was reminded of something…
Retirement is an existential challenge.
The extra time will produce an array of questions. What’s the meaning of life? Have I made the right decisions? Will I be remembered when I’m gone?
Retirement forces a man to reflect on the existential; and many people die before they reach that point.
Most of us are rescued from answering, The alarm goes off, we take a shower, and we shave. And then it’s off to work…a set of duties that occupy. We file a memo, we type a letter, and we move a stapler. “One more coffee, please!”
And yet the questions remain…unanswered.
Periodically, a revelation arrives. You smoke a joint on a rooftop in Chicago and the universe is unleashed – like a tsunami hitting landfall. You feel the immensity of time. You see Mayan temples and the pyramids of Egypt. They’re all connected to you…and the emotion is overwhelming.
But it’s over the next day – you go back to work. The feelings you had are washed away by a million details. A machine reclaims the soul.
Until retirement. Then you face the questions again. Like a boxer in the ring, your opponent is after you. He’s chasing you from pillar to post. And you have to face the punches of reality. The existential dilemma.
I’ve always enjoyed Shopenhauer’s work. And yet I’m struggling his epic The World as Will and Idea. In particular, the concept of the world as merely an idea.
“No truth therefore is more certain, more independent of all others, and less in need of proof than this, that all that exists for knowledge,and therefore this whole world, is…in a word, idea.”
That’s a stretch.
Life is a tangible reality, a concrete exclamation mark. It’s profound and absolute. Let me give you two example to illustrate the point:
The ecstasy of an orgasm (body shaking, waves of pleasure, etc.)
The pain of being burned alive
These are very real…more than idea. They exist in the here and now, and they are so profound that they cannot be denied.
I’ll continue with Shopenhauer, because I’ve enjoyed the other things that I’ve read. But my instinct is telling me that I won’t agree with a lot of this book.
When you speak to your child, do you talks about politics? Do you talk about relationships? French films? Of course you don’t. You talk about things you both understand: cartoons, food, etc.
Do the same thing with adults. Talk about the common ground you share with them—the topics you both understand. Maybe it’s philosophy, maybe sports. You have at least one thing in common with the majority of humanity.
We become frustrated when we force conversations. We speak about things that are not relevant to the audience. We want them to experience the movie theatre of our minds. There’s only one problem—most of them don’t care. They’re living in their own movie theatre.
Yeah…but Major. I need to talk about political theory! I need to talk about the illuminati! Well, you can…just like you can do anything in life. But you’ll be frustrated. You’ll find yourself alone, even when you’re in a crowd.
Learn to limit your conversations. The more you do this, the happier you’ll be.
Algebra is, quite simply, a game of “find the missing” number. What does X mean? What does Y mean? What number do you need to solve a problem?
Let me present three ways that you do algebra as an adult:
A spouse you’re trying to meet
A diet you’re trying to implement
A financial strategy you’re learning about
You’re always looking for a missing number, for something to complete your life. You’re always searching…always looking. Always waiting for dessert, hoping for a cherry to top your cake.
What is Man? is the last book that Mark Twain wrote. In my opinion, it’s the best thing he ever composed. It’s a collection of short stories and essays. The topics are broad, covering everything from the death of his wife Jean to the virtues of tobacco. On some level, it’s a Mark Twain blog – the man in all his greatness, touching on a variety of topics.
My favorite essay from the book is “The Turning-Point of My Life.” Twain recalls his early days, reflecting on the defining moments of his childhood. He describes the “turning point” as a moment when a measles epidemic was ravaging his hometown. Everybody was living in fear, everybody petrified. The children were dying. People were locked inside their homes, frightened. The fear was palatable.
Twain stayed in the house for months. Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore and decided to leave the house, risking death.
In short, he decided that is was better to live with bravery than die with fear.
Life on these miserable terms was not worth living…This was a turning-point of my life.
Twain catches the measles and becomes ill…but he survives. From that point forth, he learns a valuable lesson. You can’t live in fear. You can’t always worry about what might happen. You can’t go through life petrified. You need to live…and live with courage. You need to stand up to danger.
The greatest rewards come when you take chances. When you decide to chase your unconventional dreams. When you decide to go against the grain, doing something that nobody else has the courage to do. When you realize that your own path is different and that you must go against the common plan. When you decide to be you.
Imagine you were in prison for 10 years. During that time, 10 songs played over and over. The music was horrible—angry vocals with lyrics about a violent world. You hate the songs at first. But then, for your own sanity, you learn how to process them—you learn how to accept the music as part of your consciousness.
Imagine who were in prison for ten years, listening to the same ten songs.
But then one day….you escape! You break out of prison, run to the shoreline, and steal a boat. You spend hours rowing on the open sea. Eventually, you come to a deserted island. It’s beautiful place, filled with clean water and tropical fruit. You kiss the ground and cry. Thank God you’re out of prison! Thank God you’re free!
Then you escape prison, landing on a deserted island. You’re free at last!!!
Do you know what happens now? Do you know what happens now that you’re “free”?
You think about the songs that you heard in prison – you’re still a prisoner.
Prison is psychological, not just physical—it lives in your your mind as well. This point was elaborated on brilliantly in Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky. The main character commits a double murder and he’s never caught—but he’s emotionally tortured by the guilt. The point is clear enough—he’s already in prison. He’s already serving a punishment.
You’re still in prison, even though you’re free.
What agitating”songs” are currently being played in your prison?
First solution: eliminate those songs. These “songs” could be people you’re surrounded by, television shows you’re watching, etc. Some tough decisions will have to be made. You might have to distance yourself from people you otherwise love – even family. But your personal happiness comes first. You can’t make somebody else happy if you’re miserable.
Second solution: teach yourself to think again. Read great books, hit the gym, only watch selective programming on television. Remember that ideas are the food of the mind. Garbage in, garbage out. So you’ll have to teach yourself to “eat healthy” thoughts. Like all changes, it won’t be easy. But it must be done.
Freedom is a mental state, as well as a physical one.
I stumbled upon this line in The Idiot, by Dostoevsky. A masterful book by a literary genius:
“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.”
In short, it’s better to be a realist—to know the cold truth. And I agree…it seems like a good idea. Great men are better than fools. The genius is above the idiot. But I believe in something more: a higher plateau.
To be happy when you know the worst…that’s the goal!
Despite everything, your toes are tapping. You’ve read the history of foreign wars, massacres, and mutilations. You’ve seen into the darkness of the human soul. You’ve seen how a fantasy is destroyed by reality. Yet still, your toes are tapping. You skip to and fro like a child.
Strength: The ability to achieve happiness in the middle of carnage. How many people can do it? How many people can achieve it? Your degrees and diplomas won’t matter. Your travel destinations won’t be relevant. Only an ability to skip freely through the world. To lift yourself up like a child. To laugh madly like a loon.
People will think you’re stupid. Don’t you know about suffering? Don’t you know about the endless riots and robberies? Of course you do. But you’ve learned something great. You’ve risen above the carnage.
“Withdraw into yourself, as far as you can. Associate with those who will make a better man of you. Welcome those whom you yourself can improve. The process is mutual; for men learn while they teach.” – Seneca
Part 1: Associate with people that will make you a better man.
If you need to lose weight, look for athletes that have a great build. Go to the gym and get a personal trainer. If you know somebody that is a fitness fanatic, ask him/her if you can train with them. Be proactive—don’t expect happiness to come knocking on your door. You have to search for self-improvement.
Every great man has a mentor. Aristotle was a mentor to Alexander the Great; Ralph Waldo Emerson was a mentor to Henry David Thoreau; Albert Einstein had Max Talmey. These men were able to grow under the guidance of a great teacher. History was shaped by mentorships. Without these interactions, the world would be a paltry place.
Max Talmey, a Polish ophthalmologist, was the mentor Albert Einstein
Do you have a great mentor in your life? You need to find one if you don’t.
I’m afraid that women are handicapped in this regard. In today’s America, young women have a difficult time finding mentors. That’s because too many older women have petty jealousy, insecurity, etc. These older women will steer young ones in a poor direction – this is especially true in the secular world, where women are encouraged to behave in ways that denigrate their character.
Years ago, I overheard a conversation between several women. Two of them were counseling a younger one. They were encouraging the young girl to cheat on her boyfriend, telling her to follow her “emotions” and “feelings.” This kind of mentorship is not helpful, and is actually more of a poison than anything. It’s about two jealous women, trying to destroy the happiness of a “frenemy.”
What’s the solution? Well, I recommend that women seek mentorship from the Church. They’re more likely to find other women there that have a faith in God, as well as the desire to help others. These Christian women are more likely to give them advice on how to strengthen a family. Of course, the optimal place for a woman to receive mentorship is from her family. But not every young woman has this option: some come from weak or broken families, for example. So women must seek counsel in other arenas and, at this moment, the Church is the best of these options.
A good place for a woman to find female mentorship.
Part 2: Welcome Those Who You Can Improve
Mentorship is a two-way street; it’s about giving, as well as receiving. We get better by helping others, by sharing our experiences with the world. Note that there are a variety of professional mentorships available. But also, partnerships can be created from the people you meet.
Find young people with talent. Every now and then, you come across a young person with great potential. How can you help him? How can you guide him? Try to steer the youngster in a positive direction if possible. Remember that you were young at one time – how would you have benefited from advice, from the counsel of a wise elder? Personally, I would have benefited greatly.
You can give back to others
A simple reminder: people only care about what you can do for them. Your music is great if it tells their story, your novel is great if it glorifies their life. People are inherently selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with that; we’re all locked into our bodies, trapped in our own “movie.” It’s hard for us to step into the shoes of another, to understand the totality of their life.
Remember that people don’t care about “you,” per se; they care about what you can do for them. But once you do for them, they will be forever grateful. They will speak of you in glowing terms, writing your name in the appendix of their lives. You will become an idol of sorts, an individual that lit a fire beneath them. Their selfishness is not a curse, but an avenue for opportunity.
Conclusion
The wisdom of Seneca is a gift that keeps giving. And his words on mentorship are telling. We should seek out the advice of others, and we should look to uplift those in need of guidance. It’s a beautiful reciprocity of existence – a circle that will improve our lives.
“A higher kind of human being, if I may say so, does not like “callings,” precisely because he knows himself to be called. He has time, he takes time, he does not even think of “finishing”: at thirty one is, in the sense of high culture, a beginner, a child.” – Nietzsche from Twilight of the Idols
Great words by Nietzsche. The excellent man is not looking to “find himself.” He’s already “found” by virtue of his passion, by his burning desire to win. He’s never done. Every day is a blessing and his presence is a gift to the world.
He know himself to be great; he doesn’t need a self-esteem lecture. He doesn’t need to have his aura read, his tarot cards interpreted, or his astrology signs analyzed. He is here on the earth, and the earth will shake at his presence. He’s a superman.
The detractors only serve to throw another log on the fire, to raise the flames of his will.
Mohammed Ali agreed…
“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them-a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.” – Mohammed Ali
The great man does not search for a “calling”; he is a calling.
Major Styles 