When Should You Say That “Things Happen for a Reason”?

When Should You Say That “Things Happen for a Reason”?

You should only utter the phrase one time—when forces out of your control have resulted in tragedy: i.e. the passing of a relative, being hit by a drunk driver, etc.

NEVER utter this phrase under the following circumstances:

  • You’ve been impregnated for the third time by an El Salvadorian gang member
  • You’ve received a fourth DUI in the last five months
  • Your 20-year addiction to cocaine has caused another suitor to flee
  • Your adult children feel that you’re a worthless piece of shit.

The first scenario is out of your control…in the hands of God.

The second is a reflection of your ethics, your morals, and your intelligence.

The “Nice” Man is Not a Great Man

The “Nice” Man is Not a Great Man

What does it mean when a man is “nice”? It sounds like a compliment, no? Well it’s actually an insult.

In short, it means that he’s polite; he smiles a lot…he’s not intimidating.

Nice indicates a surface greeting, a casual exchange. It’s equivalent to Southern hospitality. It shows that he’s learned the basic structure of human interaction. It’s like getting an award at school for attendance. You achieve the basic, which is nothing.

My dear readers, always remember this: GREAT MEN ARE NOT NICE.

A friend used to tell me, “When you meet a man, you should feel something pushing back against you. You should feel the energy of resistance.”

Very true!

A great man is defined by his allegiance to lofty ideas, by his desire to pursue a passionate goal. His spirit is a guitar solo by Eddy Van Halen. His energy is red wine, spilling over the cup. He fires a cannon at the island of insecurity. He’s a captain on the ship of confidence.

And the great man’s enemy is the weakling – aka, the “nice” man. The “nice” man surrenders to the challenge, agrees to be ordinary. The “nice” man shuffles into the distance. His spirit is dejected and peevish. His energy is confusion. The best he can do is “nice”…because he has nothing else!

There’s an old cliche…”Nice guys finish last.” But it really means “Weak men are eventually exposed.” They can only hide for so long. Eventually, their dim lighting is replaced by the fires of a great man.

See Related Post: The Man That You Become is More Important Than the Boy That You Were

 

The Man That You Become is More Important Than the Boy That You Were

The Man That You Become is More Important Than the Boy That You Were

When I was a child, I was terribly shy. I would glance at the ground when speaking to people, afraid to look them in the eyes. I was even worse with girls. I could barely speak to them, stuttering and mumbling incoherently. For all I knew, they thought I was a deaf mute. The shyness continued well into my teens. In short, I was an awkward boy that was plagued with feelings of inadequacy.

As I became older, I became more confident. I traveled the world and learned about new cultures, customs, and places. During this time, I realized that I was simply another soul in search of meaning. Each time I returned to the United States, I grew more confident. Eventually, this confidence bled into my job. I began leading groups, speaking in public, and engaging people I barely knew. In short, I was no longer a child that lacked confidence.

The man that you become is more important than the boy that you were.

Are you holding onto old friends instead of making new ones? Are you basking in the glory of your teenage potential, instead of working on new skills and talents? Are you looking into a rear view mirror instead of the front window?

It’s time to challenge yourself to dream bigger. To think more of yourself….

The man that you become is more important than the boy that you were.

Learn to Limit Your Conversations

Learn to Limit Your Conversations

When you speak to your child, do you talks about politics? Do you talk about relationships? French films? Of course you don’t. You talk about things you both understand: cartoons, food, etc.

Do the same thing with adults. Talk about the common ground you share with them—the topics you both understand. Maybe it’s philosophy, maybe sports. You have at least one thing in common with the majority of humanity.

We become frustrated when we force conversations. We speak about things that are not relevant to the audience. We want them to experience the movie theatre of our minds. There’s only one problem—most of them don’t care. They’re living in their own movie theatre.

Yeah…but Major. I need to talk about political theory! I need to talk about the illuminati! Well, you can…just like you can do anything in life. But you’ll be frustrated. You’ll find yourself alone, even when you’re in a crowd.

Learn to limit your conversations. The more you do this, the happier you’ll be.

Who Occupies Your Mind?

Who Occupies Your Mind?

Imagine there was a podium in the middle of a town square. Only five speakers were allowed at the podium every day. The discussion topics were clearly outlined for the speakers, designed to improve the morale of the citizenry. The podium became the informational center of the town; it created the collective reality of the people that lived there.

Your mind is like that podium. Only a certain amount of conversations can be held every day. And what will the conversations be about? Will they improve your morale? Will they provide positive information to guide your life? These conversations in your mind will create the reality of your life.

The greatest challenge in life—removing negative conversations from your mind. Removing negative speakers from the podium.

You should learn to have prejudice. You should learn to discriminate. Not everybody has a worthy conversation, or a positive message. Many people merely want to pour their unhappiness into you. They’re unable to solve their problems, so they want to share their misery. They’re not looking for a solution—merely an audience.

Who occupies your mind? The answer should be clear—only the greatest thinkers of humanity. Only the people who are successful in life. Only the people who are active, instead of passive. Only the people who are “doers.”

There is a war for possession of your thoughts—you must fight to control the battlefield.

When I Was a Young Man, I Wanted to Change the World

When I Was a Young Man, I Wanted to Change the World

I came across a beautiful quote:

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. 

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn’t change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn’t change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. 

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

Author: Unknown Monk 1100 A.D.

Well put. The first point of change should be ourselves. By doing that, we provide a model for others. And it’s this model that can serve as a vehicle for larger change.

Have you ever had a personal success? Found a great partner, lost a lot of weight? If you have, then you know that people will come out of the woodwork to find you: they will call you out of the blue, ask you how you accomplished what you did, etc. Conversely, many others will feel jealous of your success. They will bemoan the fact that the good fortune fell your way, instead of theirs. Either way, your personal gains created a ripple effect.

Get Moving Immediately

I recommend that you do 27 things when you wake up—but make sure that all those things center on YOU. Lift weights, do exercise, practice your guitar, make your lunch for the day, etc. Then when you’re finished, you’ll be better able to help others. That’s because you’ll be more complete as an individual. And only a complete individual can help others become complete. Remember, you cannot give others something that you don’t have.

Review Your Goals

Also, I recommend that you review your goals frequently. Do you have goals written down? You should. Take a periodic review of these, making sure that you are accomplishing what you set out to do. Remember that pyramids are not built in a day; they are constructed one brick at a time. Have you done the little steps today? Have you made the important phone call, or sent the important letter? Stay focused on your goals. Only then will you be able to reflect back later with a positive sense of accomplishment.

Reflect on Your Progress

Finally, take time to reflect at the end of the day. You might want to save time, say half an hour, to take a walk around the neighborhood. Do you have reflection time? Do you meditate on what you do? Again, you should. It’s important to have perspective. Educational theorists have stated that students never learn material unless they periodically rest; in short, they never have time to process the information if they never take a break. So it’s important to provide yourself with reflection time. This will give you important perspective on the actions of your day.

Conclusion

Many young people want to change the world. But it’s important to remember that change starts with ourselves. Being the best version of yourself should be the imperative goal. Everybody is not perfect, true. And perhaps we can never reach that state of perfection. But we should, at the very least, be an excellent version of our ourselves. Only then can we begin to change the world.